About the Blog Name

Raconteur is another word for story-teller. In Jueteng (a Filipino number game of chance), 11 is a number for soul. So literally, The Raconteur 11 means The Storyteller's Soul.

Friday, May 4, 2012



“Sometimes I love you means goodbye.”-I Love You Goodbye (Pilipino Movie)

It’s been some time since I knew you, and or a short while; I fall in love with you.

You’re not every woman’s dream. You’re not perfect, but does love need perfections?

You never know how I feel. How difficult it is to fight this feeling. How painful it is that every time I want to get you out of my heart…my mind…and my life, I’m drowning in the abyss of love even more.

I’ve been so close to you then, so close the distance that all I have to do is grab you and make you mine. But your heart is miles away, beating with someone else’s heart. So I have no choice but to just--let go.

I’m giving up. As I make a point in this piece, I will forget you.

Giving up does not mean that I don’t love you anymore, I do, it’s just that I can’t bear the pain much more. It’s hard to breathe and continue writing…just like now, thinking that I should give up a fight I never fought. It’s like cutting your throat for a suicide…prolonging the agony…stopping the beat of your heart to cease the pain.

Once, I saw you cry, cry because you broke up with her. I’m so happy then. How ironic my love for you is? I should not have seen when you gave her roses, because as you do, you offering me their thorns.
When you smile and laugh with her, you’re making my day gloomy.
As you offer your shoulder to her, my pillows are wet in tears.
When you’re with her, I’m here alone.
 And as you love her, I am here, loving you.

So, I must bid goodbye for now, even if it is taking my breath away. I’m leaving perhaps away from you forever.

I know that giving it up will open me to a lot of opportunities. It’s a way to grow and continue life. A fall to rise and start a new beginning. Yeah I’ll leave but I’ll leave bearing the hope that someone will love me back the way I had loved you…

I love you. Goodbye.

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